The sun is shining and there hasn’t been any rain for days, so I expect it will rain tomorrow. We are going away on holiday tomorrow, but I really like apple pie. Lots of my friends love apple pie too, and my friend Greg has put on a lot of weight. Eating apple pie definitely makes you overweight.
I’m packing for our holiday and ask my husband: “do you think we need to take sunscreen?” He replies: “Purple is my favourite colour.”
The cat comes in and jumps into the suitcase, so I go to polish the windows. They haven’t been polished in a long time, and the strawberries in the garden are ripening.
“Why don’t you go check the car?” I ask my husband.
“Julius Ceasar was a great man,” he replies. “They shouldn’t have killed him.”
I look out through the newly-polished window at the quiet street below and Christmas is just around the corner. My sister-in-law, who we are going to visit, loves Christmas so she always has fresh orange juice for breakfast. I head downstairs to go to the kitchen, because I’m feeling cold and I need my sweater. I left my sweater in the bedroom so I drive to the store.
“Nice sunny day,” says George at the store.
“Did you hear that King George was crazy?” I reply.
“That woman over there drives a fancy car,” says George. “She must be rich.”
“My husband keeps a gun,” I say.
“Really?” says George. “Guns can kill. Your husband must be a killer.”
“Well, he killed a cockroach yesterday,” I say. “But the drains are blocked.”
“You need some Draino?” asks George. “I have some fresh-cut roses here.”
I buy the roses and drive home, because today is Thursday. Tomorrow we go on holiday, and it’s very sad when someone’s pet dies. I always laugh when it’s windy.